Becoming a Best Friend

The Epidemic of Loneliness

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We seem to have this epidemic of loneliness. It seems like every time we turn around, somebody's saying how they feel so lonely. And this is the thing, God created people to be part of a community and community is just kind of like a fancy word for friendship or family.

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In the Church, a community of faith is a group of people who are going to encourage you and care for you, and push you in the direction of the way of Jesus. But if I'm being totally honest it's pretty obvious that even in the church, friendship is really difficult.

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It's hard to have good friends. It's hard to be a good friend. Maybe you're friends with somebody and things seem to be going great, but then all of a sudden you're not friends anymore. I think a lot of us have had that experience. Maybe you feel like you have a lot of friends, but none of them are good friends.

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I think that the real question a lot of us are trying to answer is how do I get real good, long lasting friendships? Well, I think the Bible actually talks about this. You see, in the Bible there's a book called Proverbs. Proverbs is a collection of wisdom and wise sayings written from a father to a son. But it's not written by just any father.

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It's written by King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live. So oftentimes, when we need good advice. Proverbs is the place to go. Proverbs 17:17 tells us this: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.” See, here's the thing, if you want to have good friends, the place to start is with yourself – is to be a good friend to other people.

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Being a good friend

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So Solomon tells us that a good friend is someone who loves all the time. You see, saying a friend loves at all times sounds nice, but the reality of it is this: the way of Jesus, the lifestyle of following Jesus, leads us to become more loving. And it's not just love like “they're cool and fun to be around and so I want to be around them.” This is the kind of love that led Jesus to lay down his life on the cross for us. This is the kind of love where Jesus says, Love God and love your neighbor, and that is the greatest command. But what does it look like? Let's get super practical. In Romans 12, Paul gets really specific about some things that we should put out of our lives and some things that should be really important in our lives.

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In Romans 12:10, Paul says this: “be devoted to one another in love, honor one another above yourselves.” So what is Paul really saying? Well, I think he's driving home the point of Proverbs 17. If we are the family of God and we have friends in this community, then we should be the kind of people who are devoted to each other in love.

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“...to really love somebody is to give them value in your life”

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How do we demonstrate this love to each other? Well, Paul tells us honor one another above yourselves. And what that really means is give value to other people. Put other people first. Be an encouragement to somebody. Show kindness to somebody. Let somebody go in front of you in line. Offer to pray for somebody right when they tell you about an issue they're going through. Listen to people. Show up for people. Buy somebody a meal. Invite somebody over for a meal. Spend quality time. These are all ways that we can show honor to other people. A friend is somebody who always loves and to really love somebody is to give them value in your life. So let's go be good friends this week.

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